Married & Highly Sensitive
The internet would lead you to believe highly sensitive people need to be alone and to have a balanced relationship is nearly impossible.
That’s a lie.
The truth is, we have the highest chance of having a long-term and loving partnership, simply because of our sensitive nature.
When you learn how to own your sensitivities by advocating for them and living in your truth. You’ll begin to see things change within and around you.
In relationships (specifically marriage), I’ve experienced an increase in self-awareness just by my day to day engagements with my husband. I noticed that the times he’s in a deep game of Call of Duty, and the simulated combat is too loud and overstimulating for me—instead of getting an attitude and immediately thinking he’s being inconsiderate.
I began advocating for my experience by telling him what I need to feel comfortable and relaxed in our shared environment.
My husband and I also have our own spaces as well. When I need my moment of solitude, I go to my space and zen out. During that time, I’m doing something that helps me decompress or recharge in someway.
The issue with most highly sensitive people are boundaries with the self. I would say, it can feel easier to set an external boundary than an internal one. There’s moments when it’s actually the self who’s in the way of our personalized love story.
Needing time alone in a relationship is normal and healthy. The highly sensitive experience can seem burdensome at times and prioritizing time to reflect, breathe, and unplug from “the other” is the perfect space to focus on you and your needs.
Overtime your partner will notice and begin supporting your sensitive nature by accommodating for your needs.
They’ll stop turning on the big light and start turning down the TV.
They’ll buy you your favorite “comfy clothes” and fuzzy slippers.
Either way, you own awareness will teach your partner how to evolve on the journey of loving you.
If you’re single and highly sensitive, take it slow and allow your partner to reveal themselves to you. The only way to know if it’s a true match is by looking in the mirror and asking yourself, “do I feel safe to be me?”
Because if you feel safe enough to be you, then chances are that reinforces the safe space for the other person. Know what you need and be brave enough to request it when you need it most.
Being married and highly sensitive is a journey that requires a compassion and integrity.
“Integrity is telling myself the truth. Honesty is being truthful with others.”
When you lie to yourself, you are also lying to your partner. So if you’re in a relationship pretending to feel energetically safe, you are doing yourself a disservice.